We are all the same

Posted on: August 8th, 2017, in Life.

Today I was sitting in the bus, going to the train station and I was observing people around me. There were different types of people, all ages and shapes, tall, short, skinny, overweight, old, young, sad, happy. And then I realized, they are all the same, we are all the same.

We spend our time focusing on our appearence, our looks and we are constatly trying to gain/lose weight to have the perfect body. We are using make-up to enhance our features when these things doesn’t matter at all. They don’t define us.

Being a medical student I had the chance to study the human body, to discover its secret mechanism of functioning, to see its insides to take a close look at what people outside the medical field don’t have the chance to see. And trust me when I tell you, we all are the same on the inside. We all have the same hearts, the same brain, the same muscles, the same physiologic mechanisms that keep up alive. So, if we are the same regarding the way we are built, why do we judge people by their looks and by their body weight?

In the past four years I have also studied a little bit of psychology. Well, that’s where everything changes. This is where we are different. This is what sets us apart.

What makes us unique is our character, our thoughts, our ambitions, dreams, determination, failures, experiences, fears, overall, our perception over life.

Every single one of us has a different reality. We all see things with different eyes, we have a different image regarding what happens to us. We feel, love, hate, experience everything in different ways.

We all have choices to make, and we make them based on who we are, how we see life, our past experiences and what makes us happy. And being a good person is a choice. Being ambitious, courageous, kind is a choice.

I have to confess, I judge people, even if I try hard not to. It’s in our human nature to do so. But I never judge somebody based on what I see in front of me. It’s irellevant. I judge them on how good, kind, selfless and inspiring they are. In my opinion this is what matters. A person who leaves a mark on you in a good way, is ten times better than a person who is extremely beautiful on the outside but vain and unkind.

I’ve seen kindness in so many forms, and every single time it moved me. I felt an emotion flowing through my belly, I felt my heart beating faster and a deep feeling of admiration. And I smile. Everytime. Because it gives me hope. Hope than in a world where there are so many awful things happening, there are people who are fighting to make it a better place. And they are not on TV, they do not receive awards, they are not recognized. They do it without asking anything in return. This is what we should pay attention to. The difference a kind gesture can do in the world.

I also met so many beautiful people on the outside. And you admire them, and because of that you want to be like then. But in my experience beauty is not always the best thing. I’ve seen people so beautiful on the outside but so ugly on the inside. It’s unbelievable how deceiving beauty can be. And we are superficial beings, we like seing a beautiful person. But we forget it’s just genetics. When we are conceived, there is a lottery. There are millions of versions of ourselves, of what we could look like. How we look like it’s out of anyone’s control. It’s nature, chance, luck. And we cannot change it. But who we become is a choice. That is the only thing we can control.

So we should stop focusing so much on what pictures we post, how we do our make-up, how we look, how much we weight, what color should our hair be, what we should wear and start focusing on who we are, what we can achieve, how we can be kinder, better in what we do and better people, how to love more, how to give to the world and let the world give us things. And not material things. Emotions, feelings, experiences, people.

I want to wish Happy Birthday to my dear friend Michelle Espinosa . She deserves the best in the world. I have never seen a person so courageous and kind. She goes through a lot, everyday, but she managed to keep a beautiful heart, a kind soul and to keep fighting for a better life. She was always there for me when I felt bad and I will never forget all how she tried to lift me up in my hardest times. She is an inspiration and she deserves the best. I love you sweetheart and I hope our friendship will last forever.

Something very true. Everyone should try to be kinder and what not to those around us. Sadly easier said then done most often.

Posted on August 9th, 2017, at 8:33 AM by Amy.

This is definitely something I agree with. I don’t understand how you can judge someone based on looks alone. People are so much more than what they look like on the outside. I think it’s something we all understand through having blogger friends. We don’t always see each other’s faces, but we still manage to form bonds and make friends. Who cares what someone looks like if they’re a fantastic person?

Happy Birthday to Michelle!

Posted on August 9th, 2017, at 6:54 PM by Michelle.

Thank you for the shoutout and I appreciate so much about you, too! Thank you for your kind words, they really mean something to me because honestly, I never was met with such kindness in my life but in the end, I can find that kindness with my friends. <3 Yes, we are all the same and that's why I strive to be kind to everyone by complimenting them on anything and saying hello to people.

Posted on August 9th, 2017, at 7:34 PM by Lucien.

Thank you very much. =)
I agree, getting totally offline when on vacation at my aunt’s is one of the reasons I love going – the others are enjoying my aunt, playing with her dogs and relaxing with a good book or a manga volume. :D

I have a second-degree cousin who, when she was a teenager (she’s married and a mother now so hopefully past that phase), refused to talk with fat people because she saw them as “disgusting”; since I’ve always been a heavy-weight, she only gave the me the minimum niceties I was due as relative….thank you for that, as I don’t wanna be associated to shallow people like her, who lack the brains to understand sight alone says nothing about a person. That kind of people disgusts me.

Posted on August 10th, 2017, at 5:24 AM by Michelle.

Nominated you for the liebster award: https://dreaming-arcadia.com/2017/08/09/once-upon-a-birthday/

Posted on August 12th, 2017, at 6:22 AM by Pauline.

This is such a beautiful post, I totally agree with you! Studying Humans a lot in my Biomedical Sciences undergraduate degree really made me realise how even though we are unique with our own thoughts and ambitions, we are essentially the same – anatomically!

Always spreading the love 💖

Posted on August 12th, 2017, at 6:43 AM by Adrianne.

Before I got into web development back in university, I was majoring in Mass Communications (in short, the media field). I would have to say that society, along with media, and their superficial definitions of what “perfect beauty” should be like is what is warping the minds of people. We should all be proud and happy of who we are and what we were born with, whether if that may be a good thing or a bad thing. Along with the influences of society and media, there’s also peer pressure. Because of these, we tend to not realize that we are following their standards instead of our own, so that we can all be accepted and be liked for who we are. To reword it a bit, in order for others to give attention to us, we have to “lure” them with our outside beauty according to society’s definitions in order for them to learn more of who we are as individuals.

When I was younger, I used to have that kind of mindset, which is why I avoided posting a photo of myself online. But, the more that I have met like-minded people from bloggers to fellow fans of a common interest, I felt a lot more confident in myself and began to post photos of myself in different situations. I’m pretty judgmental myself, but like you, more of that person’s display of character, especially if it can affect other people without realizing it.

I don’t know if this is a good example, but relatives I’m not close with already calling me an “old maid,” simply because I refuse to find someone, get married, and have children. I’m sure it’s nice to have a significant other, but after two failed relationships in the past, I realized that I’m way better than that and that I feel a lot more free on my own than having someone who claims to “love” me for who I am to drag me down. That is the reason why I rarely go to “extended” family reunions with those I’m not close with because I know what kind of people they are all together.

There is only one thing that we should all focus on without any form of distractions from others and their judgments of you: live.

Posted on August 13th, 2017, at 12:10 PM by Sakura.

Very true indeed. It is how we think and our conscience that set us apart.

Posted on August 13th, 2017, at 6:12 PM by Nancy.

I agree that cosmetic features don’t define us. Although, losing some weight does help with lowering the chances of medical complications. As long as people are within a healthy weight, it’s all good. People don’t need chiseled abs to be considered perfect. A lot of beauty standards are based on opinions. How people act matters more than how they look. If they’re making a positive breakthrough in society, it doesn’t matter how they look like. Their impact is definitely more important!

Posted on August 13th, 2017, at 6:41 PM by Jessica.

Sometimes I think that we have a tendency to forget just how similar we truly are, and spend too much time focusing on our differences – however, minor that they may actually be. The saddest part is that we turn our minor differences into major ones – we need to realize that like the saying says “Beauty is only skin-deep” and so are the differences that we are focusing on.

Posted on August 21st, 2017, at 10:27 AM by Lysianthus.

I think it is something that everyone should realize at some point in their lives. Outer beauty means nothing, because, outer beauty is not earned. Maybe it would mean more if we worked hard for it, exerted effort for it, but, no, it’s something that we don’t really have control over, and it hurts me when I see people bully others over something so trivial and meaningless as this. It’s awful that a lot of people don’t realize this. It obviously has a lot to do with the media and marketing (advertisements and the like). They make you feel and think you should look a certain way to be “acceptable” enough, but there is really no such thing. All of it is just for companies to get your money, to buy their “beauty” products. A lot of people fall for it easily. A lot of us concentrate more on the outside, forgetting that it’s the inside that needs a lot of cultivating.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with looking good, wanting to look good, as long as one has positive motivations. And there is definitely nothing wrong with appreciating outer beauty, as long as it’s not the only thing one appreciates, as long as one knows that inner beauty holds more value. 💗